Merry Christmas Darling

Merry Christmas, darling

We're apart, that's true

But I can dram

And in my dreams

I'm Christmasing with you

                                 ~The Carpenters

Looking out of the office window, he sighed. It was Christmas Eve. But more importantly, it was his beloved’s birthday. As he stood there in silence, the snow silently falling down, he knew it was time for him to go, even though he didn’t want to. It wasn’t fair. Instead of going out into the cold and snow, he would much rather go into the living room or kitchen and sweep her off her feet into his arms, but there would never be any more of that. Never again could he look into her brown eyes and tell her how much he loved her and never again would he have stolen moments with the woman he called his wife. Sighing again, he knew he owed her this much and in silence, he crossed the room, pulled on his coat and left.

~

                Kneeling down, he brushed away the snow from the lightly colored stone that bore not only his last name, but her first name as well as he sighed and laid down a bouquet of the reddest roses he could find. As the snow danced around him, landing softly in his hair and on his face, he blinked away his unshed tears. Running his fingers down the cold marble of this reality, he wondered, he hoped and he prayed, and as he did, a lone tear finally escaped and splashed down in front of him on the stone, and for whatever reason, a quote he had heard only a week before popped into his mind:

If a single tear fell from your eyes into the ocean

And then washed up on some far and distant shore

I would still recognize that teardrop

For in the end that tear would still be yours

                After reflecting on it for a few moments, he knew it was time to go and as he placed a two finger kiss on her stone, he sighed again as he stood. “Happy Birthday my beloved” he whispered, as he turned and headed back for the car. As he started the long decent out of the silent cemetery, he turned on the radio and found a song that matched his emotions perfectly, The Carpenters “Merry Christmas Darling.”

Court Dates, Christmas Parties and Black Jack at Higbee's

Court Dates

                It was her day in court. It was suppose to be his too, but somehow his was being dismissed before it came before a judge, so he was still comfortably dressed and sitting at the funeral home while she was in a suite and wandering around on Public Square with her parents. Butterflies danced in her stomach and she wished nothing more than for the nightmare of her car accident to be behind her so she could attempt to move forward with her life. Finally, the time had come. Walking into the court room, she sighed, as she listened to the other cases presented before hers. So far, so good. Nobody was arrested. Most plead No Contest and got to walk out with fines and court costs. Finally, her name was called and she approached the podium. Saying good morning to the magistrate, she stated her name for the record and listened to the charges against her be read. This was it. She was ready to follow most of the others and plea No Contest, but before she chance to say anything, the magistrate stopped her.

                “You must plea not guilty. Get yourself an attorney. That doesn't mean that this is bad, but it requires an attorney. Step into the hall, and you’ll get the paper regarding your court date.”

All life drained out of her. What was going on? Not guilty? Get an attorney? She felt her life spinning out of control like her car was the night of the accident. She didn't know what to do. Tears danced in her eyes. She couldn't believe it.

~

                “How did court go?” she was asked, as she stepped into her office about a half hour after she got out of court. Ignoring the questions, she went over to the Rolodex and pulled out the card for the attorney. Dialing his numbers, she left messages everywhere she could think of, he hanging up the phone and fighting back her tears. By now, everyone had gathered around her.

                “How did court go?” he asked her, as she shook her head, fighting back the tears she knew were about to be shed at any moment.

                “I need an attorney.” She finally whispered, as he looked at her. “I can’t afford one, but I need one so I’m calling Dave because I don’t know who else to call.” She added, as he looked at her.

                “I can see that, but why do you need an attorney?” he asked her gently, as the tears silently began to fall.

“I don’t know. I was told to get an attorney.” She replied, as he looked at everyone else around them, none of it making any sense to them whatsoever. “But I’m okay now. I need to work.” She stated, but deep down, she figured that he knew she was in no condition to work. Why he allowed her to stay, she wasn't sure, but she certainly didn't do much work.
~

Christmas Parties

                It was nearing four o’clock when he steeped into the office. “Did you still plan on going with us this evening?” he questioned her, as she shook her head.

               

                “I’d like to yes.” She replied as she smiled.

                “I put some fresh towels in the bathroom if you guys need to clean up.” He said, as he looked over at his cousin who nodded his head.

                “I’m good. But she might like a shower just to help relax from this morning.” He suggested, as she looked back at her boss, who nodded his head.

                “I think I would like that if you don’t mind.” She replied as she headed for the bathroom. Turning on the water, she let it run as she got her dress and heels ready to change into.

~

                Pulling her wrap tighter around her, she sighed as she sipped at her martini and watched her boss at a distance interact with the other funeral directors in the group. Lost in her own mind, she didn't notice when he cousin stepped up along side of her.

               

                “How are you holding up?” he questioned her gently, as she shook her head, trying to avoid any tears that may not have been cried out earlier that day.

                “I’m okay.” She replied. “Scared. Dave said I’m looking at possible jail time.” She admitted as he smiled.

                “That won’t happen. I won’t let it happen.” He tried to assure her, as her eyes continued to follow her boss. Taking a deep, long, rich sip of her drink, she sighed.

                “If it does, will I still have a job at the funeral home?” she questioned, scared to find out the answer. Looking at her, he frowned slightly.

                “I can’t answer that as I don’t sign your checks, but I can’t imagine him letting you go, that’s for sure.” He answered, before adding “Why don’t you ask him.” Shaking her head, she looked up at him and sighed again.

                “Okay.” She answered, before she slowly made her way over to her boss. Coming up along side of him, he smiled at her. She looked stunning that evening and a part of him was glad to show her off.

                “So, how’s you’re martini?” he asked her, as she smiled lightly.

                “It’s fine, thank you. I need to ask you something, and now that I have enough liquid courage in me, I think I can ask it.” She said, as he turned and looked at her, surprised by her comment.

                “Go ahead.”

                “If I go to jail over the accident, will I still have a job to come back to?” she asked, and looking up at her, he could tell she was deadpan serious. Placing his hand gently on hers, he smiled.

                “It was an accident. You’ll always have a job at the funeral home. Please, stop worrying about it and enjoy yourself tonight.” He replied, as they were called for dinner. Taking her arm, he led them into the dining room for dinner.

~

Black Jack at Higbee’s

                Walking onto the second floor of the casino, she smiled as she listened to her escorts discuss what use to be where when the casino use to be a popular downtown department store. It was exciting and she reveled in the fact that his first trip down to the casino was with her. Wandering the floor, they soon came to the blackjack tables. She knew he was good at it, and with very little coxing, she got him to final buy in so he could teach her. Standing along side of him, her shawl draped low on her arms, she watched in amazement as he played and won. As the chips started to pile up in front of him, she smiled and stepped back to talk to his cousin.

                “He’s really good at the game. He must have at least seventy five dollars in front of him.” She stated gleefully, glad that he was enjoying himself and not worrying about work.

                “Well he should be. He’s had enough experience at it with the church.” Was his cousin’s reply as she slipped her phone out of her purse and snapped a picture or two. It was the most laid back and relaxed she had seen him in a while.

Stepping back over to the table, she smiled at him.

                “How are you doing?” she questioned, as he laughed.

                “Average.” He replied, as she noticed that he had lost some of the chips in front of him that moments earlier he had had. Looking at her watch, he smiled. “But it’s getting late and we have funerals in the morning, so I’m cashing out.” He said, as he collected his chips and they left.

~

                Getting home, about an hour later, she sighed, as she let down her hair and hung her dress up on her bedroom door, her phone signaled a text message. Pulling them up, she smiled.

Thanks for a lovely evening.

12/04/1989

It was lunch time at the funeral home, and as it had become common practice since her accident the month before, brother and sister were discussing the accident and her car. Sitting back enjoying his lunch and occasionally putting in his two cents, he didn’t realize when the conversation changed.

                “Isn't it the anniversary of your dad’s death?” his cousin and best friend asked him, as he turned to look at him.

                “Yeah it is. It’s also one of my girl’s birthday too.” He shared with the group as they all looked at him. “Dad’s been dead twenty-four years, so that makes my daughter thirty four I believe it is.” He added, before anybody caught him off guard with the questions of how long and how old. “It was a bad day that year.”

                “A bad day?” his cousin questioned, as he nodded his head.

                “Yup. During the night dad started to fail, so I took mom up to the hospital, but he died right before we got there. So I told them not to call the funeral home, that I was going to drop mom off, pick up the cot and come back and get him.” He started, as she broke into laughter and cut him off accidentally.

                “But the hospital was being so efficient that day that they didn't’t listen and called the funeral home.” She stated, before she realized what she had done and looked over at him to apologize. “Opps. Sorry.”

                “That’s okay. But she’s right. So I got back here and came upstairs to break the news that dad had died, when my darling wife tells me that she’s sorry that my dad died. So I ask her how she knows, and she confirms that the hospital did exactly what I had told them not to do, which was call the funeral home.” He finished as his cousin laughed.

                “Is that how we get them to call the funeral home? Have the families tell them not to call us.” He questioned, as everyone laughed.

                “Apparently. So I go and pick up dad and bring him back here. In the meantime, there’s a birthday party suppose to be getting set up so she goes to pick up the cake and a few groceries at the store where CVS is now. While she’s there, she gets robbed and calls me here, freaked out and sounding almost like you did when you called me the night of your accident.” He explains as he nods his head over towards the young girl.

                “If she was half as scared as I was, calling you was the best choice to make. I know it was when I did.” She said as she smiled at him. “Thanks again for coming by the way.”

                “Don’t worry about it. Anyways, so we deal with her purse getting stolen, come back to the funeral home and manage to have a wonderful birthday party. But getting to the party was a horrible day.” He says, as he bites into his sandwich.

                “Well then, lets hope she has a much better birthday then she did when she was turning four.” His cousin replied as everyone shook their heads.

                “If we were drinking, I’d drink to that.” He said with a smile on his face. He truly did hope that his little girl was having a better birthday then the one he remembered so well.

The Accident, Part I

Getting ready for the funeral director’s meeting was his next move on his game plan for the evening, but that all changed when the phone rang. Answering it with his usual greeting, he was unprepared for the panic he heard in her voice on the other end.

               

                “I need you. Please, please come.” All his parental instincts kicking in, he nodded his head, though she couldn’t see it.

                “Where are you?” he asked, as he heard the panic and fear in her voice.

                “Um. West Blvd. and Denison, no wait. Um West Blvd…I’m by the rapid station on West Blvd. Please come.” He heard her voice break. Already pulling on his coat and grabbing his phone, he quickly assured her he was coming, transferred the phones and left. Something was wrong, and she needed him.

~

                Pulling up to the traffic light at the boulevard and Detroit, he saw why she had called. Her precious blue Ford Explorer sat in the middle of the street facing the wrong way. Looking out the window, he saw her near the car, several fireman surrounding her, as she strained to see the silver paneled van in the distance. As the light turned green, he went threw the intersection and pulled into the rapid station parking lot where he parked the van and got out. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly before getting out, knowing that she was going to need him as level headed as possible. Walking over to the cross walk, he began to survey the damage. Her car was smashed. Not terribly, but the front end would need some work. Another car appeared to be dented, while a third one was missing the front end. As he waited to cross, she final caught sight of him and breaking free ran over to her. She’s walking, he thought to himself. So that’s a good thing. Coming towards her, he reached out his arms as she went right into them, her head resting on his shoulder. Closing them around her, he sighed. She was safe, and his tachycardia heart rhythm could final begin to slow down.

                “What happened?” he questioned her gently as she tried to fight back her tears. She was shivering, despite having her heavy winter jacket on, and that caused him to hold her just a little bit tighter. His only concern at that moment was to see if she was hurt.

                “I don’t know. I was heading to my meeting for basketball. I rounded the corner and the car got away from me. My parents are going to kill me.” She said, still shivering, as he led them back to where everybody was standing. “This is something my brother does. Not me. I’m the good one.” She cried. Reaching the cops he sighed.

                “Are you her father?” he was immediately questioned, but he shook his head. “I’m her boss. What happened here?” he asked in reply, as he was filled in, not letting her out of his sight. As the officer finished, a paramedic came up to her.

                “You okay? Are you sure you don’t want to go get checked out?” he asked her, as she shook her head. All she wanted was a bottle of aspirin, a hot shower and a warm blanket.

                “I’m…I’m good. I’m okay.” She said shakily as he looked at her.

                “Maybe you should go get checked out.” He suggested but she continued to shake her head.

                “I’m okay, really.” She answered, as he smiled, trying to calm her down.

~

                 “You need to sit down at least.” He insisted, as she looked at him. “You’re freezing. Let’s go sit down.” He repeated, as she looked nodded at him, her body going into a state of controlled shock. Leading her back to the van, he opened the door, and she climbed in. Closing the door, she let her tears flow. Standing right outside the door, he sighed, as he heard the faint sounds of her crying through the glass. She was scared, and in shock and at that moment in time, the closest thing she had to a parent. Watching her brother and his friend fix the car enough to drive, he silently climbed into the driver’s seat and lead them to her house. As she finished her call to the insurance company, he opened her door and helped her out of the car.

               

                “Thank…thank you.” She said shakily as he smiled at her.

                “You’re welcome. Go inside, rest. And go to your thing tomorrow and have a good time okay. Don’t let this ruin that. Everything is going to be just fine, alright.” He said, as she shook her head and her brother and his friend led her into the house, one on either side. As they went in, he climbed back into the van and drove back to the funeral home. He had missed the director’s meeting, but he didn’t care. He knew he was needed elsewhere that night.

Christmas Dreams and Driving Thank Yous

It was late, but yet, there they sat, the boss and his young assistant folding and stuffing envelopes for the funeral home’s annual Tree of Remembrance ceremony they were once again holding. As they folded, hundreds of envelopes surrounding them, they laughed and talked and tried to make it as fun as they possible could.

                “Oh, I loved this song when I was little.” He said happily as his favorite Christmas song came on the radio. “I use to play this over and over as a child. Use to drive my father crazy!” He added, as she smiled. She loved it when he shared memories like that with her.

                “My sister had a hard time pronouncing the words when she was little. She learned to talk right around the time my brother had broken his two front teeth and was learning to talk without them. Unfortunately, she learned to talk like she didn't have front teeth either.” She said, as she handed him another stack of stuffed envelops for sorting.

                “So what about you? Don’t you have a favorite Christmas song?” he asked, as she smiled at him over the stacks.

                “Anything by TSO is fine with me. But they have this one Christmas song I like, Wizards In Winter. It’s one of the ones they tend to play a lot on the radio.” She said. “They’ll play it at the concert next month.” She added quickly, as he smiled.

                “Not to change the subject, but have you driven yet?” he questioned her, as she cringed. Driving? There was no way she was ever going to drive again if she could avoid it.

                “No I haven’t. Haven’t had the time or a reason to drive.” She stated plainly as she stuffed a few more envelopes. “Why do you ask?”

                “Because you need to start driving. It’s like that old saying, fall of the horse, get back up and ride. If you don’t, you won’t.” he stated as he looked over at her and gave her a slight grin.

                “We’ll see.” She replied, as she stood up and poured herself more to drink before sitting back down, as a commercial came on the radio regarding Christmas shopping. “How are you on your Christmas shopping?” she quickly asked, changing the subject before he could say any more about her driving.

                “Nope. Haven’t had time between funerals and getting stuff ready for tree. It’s been crazy.” He answered. “I’m one of those last minute shoppers. The one year, I was actually sliding under the gates at Victoria Secret to buy her a present.” He said, as the memory brought a chuckle to his face.

                “Oh? You’re first Christmas I’m guessing?” she asked, as he continued to smile.

                “Our very first one yes. We weren't even married yet.” He said, as he saw her eyes get wide.

                “You’re very first Christmas together, not even married and you bought her Victoria Secret? Sounds like you were living dangerously.” She said, surprised at this side of her boss that she never thought she would ever see.

                “Yup. I bought her a satin nightgown and a bottle of perfume. I was living dangerously back then. Her parents were horrified that I bought it for her. Not the perfume, they were okay with that. But the nightgown certainly raised a few eyebrows.” He said with a giggle.

                “Did she like it?” was the next question asked, as she continued to look at him with a certain look of surprise on her face.

                “She never said she didn’t so I guess so.” He replied, as he went back to working on the envelopes. As she went back to stuffing the envelopes, her curiosity got the better of her.

                “Chanel No. 5?” she questioned, as he looked up at her.

                “I’m sorry?”

                “Was it Chanel No. 5? The perfume you bought her that night?” she asked once again, as he began to think back to that night, trying to remember.

                “Yes, I believe it might have been Chanel No. 5.” He said, as in silence they went back to finishing the job at hand.

~

                Coming into the living room a few hours later, after having dinner at their usual hang out, he sighed, as he slipped off his coat and went into the living room to sit down. Pulling out his phone to put it on charge, it chimed in his hand. Clicking on the text message box, he smiled at the simple two words staring up at him:

Thank you

Pulling up his keyboard he quickly typed his reply:

You are more than welcome

Leaning back in his chair, he sighed. The message meant more to him then he could have ever imagined it would. He had gotten her to drive, her first time, since the accident the week before and while she was terrified, he couldn't help but smile at how grateful she was that he had done that. He knew in time, she would be just fine.